Okay, let me preface this post by saying long distance relationships are not for everyone, and definitely not for the faint of heart. Making the decision to embark on a long distance relationship means you are all in and ready for the challenges ahead; It means being strong + pushing through weeks on end without seeing your best friend; It means leaning in to the challenge and trusting + supporting your partner through thick and thin; and ultimately, it means you love that person and no amount of miles could ever get between that.
These are a few of the conditions that were set before Kyle and I entered our cross-country LDR. Much to our satisfaction, they proved to be legit because we’re approaching our 5 year anniversary this year!
Back in 2014 when I decided to leave my life in Virginia to move to Los Angeles, mine and Kyle’s relationship was fairly new. We started dating in my senior year of college when I was at James Madison University and Kyle was working full time in Northern Virginia. (Are you noticing a trend yet?) We were just barely dating a year when I made the trek out west to uphold a longtime promise to my bff. Lucky for me, I had an extremely loving + selfless man by my side who only wanted the best for me. He didn’t hesitate when I proposed a long distance relationship and supported me as I went off to accomplish my dreams. It takes a special type of person to be so understanding and selfless in a situation like this. In fact, I tell him often that he’s a better person than me, because I don’t know that I’d be so willing…
We’ve always been a couple that has had to travel distances to be together, so we figured out some best practices that I wanted to share! Here are the 5 things that helped us through:
- Be Flexible
This seems like a given but it’s definitely worth reminding. In a long distance relationship, there are going to be times that you and your partner aren’t on the same schedule. And truth be told, that’s OKAY. A lot of times Kyle would call me to chat, only to find out that I was 5 episodes deep into my favorite show with my friends. Or I’d call him to tell him something exciting, but he’d be swamped at work and ask to call me back. Obviously these situations aren’t ideal, but they’re real life. Learn to roll with the punches and be understanding of your S.O.’s schedule. It’ll serve you well in the long run.
2. Schedule time to talk
Having a set time for you + your lover is crucial. Whether this means a nightly Facetime or daytime texting date, you and your partner need some time for each other. It doesn’t have to be the same time every day, just as long as there’s set time every day.
3. Plan trips
This was key in mine + Kyle’s relationship. We were constantly on the move to see one another. This meant that there was never a time we didn’t know when we’d see each other next. Before leaving each other, we’d already have another visit on the books. This will help you both have piece of mind and will give you something to look forward to.
4. Be trusting
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas…it doesn’t go anywhere. Allow your person to spend time how they please. This will give them the space they need to grow without feeling suffocated by an overbearing partner. This aspect of mine + Kyle’s relationship is something that I’ve always been eternally grateful for…he never second guessed my intentions or plans and always supported me. Take note 🙂
5. Be trustworthy
As important as it is to be trusting, it’s equally, if not more, important to be trustworthy. In order to be trusted, you have to give your partner a reason to do so. This means being honest, devoted, and committed to your love. Be communicative…this will give your partner piece of mind and will let them know that you’re 100% open with them. This is huge.
Thanks for reading along! I hope you found this helpful. If you + your partner are about to embark on this challenge, let me know! I’d be happy to share some more tips + tricks on how to navigate these waters 🙂